go do what you do best...puke behind churches
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
