The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
