I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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