I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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