I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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