I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
