Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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