I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
