it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
