You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize