I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
