My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
