if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
