when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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