I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
soo... how was my night?
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