coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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