I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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