I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The Olympian is in my bed
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
