I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
