If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
