this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
