ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
