Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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