he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
