Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
