I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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