It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize