My friends, they love my intelligence
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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