Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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