He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
