I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
