I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
