i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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