dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
