she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
