It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize