oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
