i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
