you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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