So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
