Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
