I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
