This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
