Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize