The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
they're like a gay fantastic four
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Randomize
