Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
