And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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