Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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