We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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