i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
