You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
