i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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