We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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