I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
