ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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