Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
