If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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