She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
