So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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