Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
