If i come over, it means nothing
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
