That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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